Early Years
 "From birth itself I had an intense love
of the divine name. I would repeat the Lord's name incessantly with
every breath, and a constant flow of divine thoughts was kept up
in my mind irrespective of the place I was or the work I was attending
to", says Amma. At the tender age of five she used
to sing beautiful songs on her beloved Lord. Often she went into
the woods, to sit alone and meditate. Or, during normal childhood
play she might stop and become withdrawn and meditative. Her parents
would scold her for not being playful. They wanted her to fit in
with the other children with the village. The family was also disturbed
by her constant singing and chanting, and it bothered them that
her lips were constantly moving, as if she was talking to herself.
This was odd behavior for a small child, and they feared that she
had some mental illness. The family didn't understand that Sudhamani's
lips were moving in silent prayers.
Because of Sudhamani's dark skin, and her strange,
unchildlike behavior, she was viewed by her parents as inferior
to the other children. Her schooling ended when she was nine and
she had to take care of the domestic work full-time. In addition
to the arduous job of looking after her own family, she served the
elderly, the poor and sick neighbors with love and care. Her parents
were horrified to see her mingle with untouchables and forbade her
to give away any more of their food, but she continued to do so
despite their punishments. Some villagers called her "the crazy
girl" given that she worked and sang in longing worship, often
slipping into profound God-intoxicated states. Amma never had a
spiritual mentor or guru, nor was she exposed to philosophical books.
Her unmistakable Self-realization and wisdom seemed to spark from
a constant remembrance of God.
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Amma
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